TOWNIES CHRISTMAS LIST..
I know I am putting our list out a little late , but Santa is old ,fat and slow, so I actually have plenty of time. Matter of fact Santa sounds a lot like Natola!!!!!
10. A workout shirt for Maycock. Jesus Christ this guy has worked in more sporting good stores than Nick has STD's and he still continues to wear the worst wife-beaters in the history of wife-beaters to practice. I mean moths packed there bags and moved out of them. Plus Steve when you buy them get the one's without the all ready in B.O.
9.A dome for the Bridgewater Gladiators because god forbid they have to play in the rain or that there may not be fans at the game. The only fans the Townies get to games are family and the kids waiting for the opposing team to park , so they can break into there cars. I mean how dare Mother Nature rain during a Gladiator game. Doesn't she know the E.F.L. Schedule..
8. One of those mind erasers from the movie " Men In Black" , because Effy and Bucky were not the same for all of last season after there circus act in Vegas. Bucky all last season kept telling me we needs Franks hands in this game, obviously that was the last thing the offense needed. Frank couldn't catch the virus if he was in the movie "Resident Evil". And Effy was completely out of his mind, he kept thinking he was better than me.
7.Fake calenders , that say every month is May. That way all those guys that don't start working out for this season until the first practice , might actually be in shape come the first practice.
6. Re-enlistment papers for Pete. No need for an explaination.
5.An invitation. Yes an invitation to this club that all these guys go out to at night that they only way they can get in is to wear Metallic Silver football pants. I mean seriously can someone please answer me why you would want to keep these pants and not turn them back in. I mean if you wear them to the movies do they give you the Senior Citizen discount or something.
4.Street-sweeper for the sidelines. I am sick of getting a rake and weed whacker out to clear the field of the hair that has shed off of Frank. If Frank was blonde we could actually find a use for it , by recycling it an sending it to Bolduc for a toupee.
3. A scouting report and game plan to use against that weeks upcoming opponent. I think thats in the Book Dummies for Football.
2.That Santa will give Bolduc's wife an idea that moving back to Boston is a good idea. Every team needs an old , miserable , bald guy , who also carries celebrity status . Him being the Keebler Elf and all. Plus that way Dave , Lil Dave and Jay can all room together, They might even start a rock group, they will call themselves the "CHIPMUNKS".
1. A life raft, life preserver and oars, because the bullshit is getting a little deep from some of the guys that say they are having a hard time paying DUES. This all coming from guys who are out more often than the girls in Nick's relationships. Better yet , out more times than Effy is in a Mcdonald's or out more than Bolduc in a steam bath in San Fran.
Merry Christmas
